What goes into being a better you?
I’m going to admit that I’m not an expert on being a better version of myself, but I can share the lessons I’ve learned. I’m just like everyone out there, trying to make ends meet, pay my bills, and sometimes thinking that I can’t ever be a good version of myself.
My life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and I have my own rough patches. However, through all the bad times, there are lessons I take away from it. Things that I know would make me a better version of myself.
You need to realize that when you want to become a better you is that you don’t actually know anything. If you think you know everything, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Even if a situation doesn’t apply to you, it still might teach you a valuable lesson, so be sure to watch out for the little things around you. You should look at every situation from a beginner’s perspective.
These are the lessons I’ve learned throughout life’s challenging situations.
1. Criticism is a part of life.
You can’t please everyone, and you’ll certainly get your share of criticism throughout your career (and life).
It’s important to understand that most people criticize to make themselves feel better. It’s not personal. Accept it and move on. It doesn’t matter what they think or say, as long as you know you’re doing the right thing.
Focus on what you can control which are your actions, not theirs.
Criticism will most likely happen especially if you decide to put yourself out there.
I also realized that if I want to have millions of people in my community, play on a bigger stage, and take myself to new heights, I must expect and be prepared for people to disagree with me, misunderstand me, and judge me.
This comes with the territory, and playing a bigger game only amplifies that.
2. Delaying decisions does not make things easier.
The longer you wait to do something, the harder it gets. It’s like going to the gym. If you put it off for a few days, your whole routine gets out of whack and it can take weeks to recover from just one day off.
Examples of this can be seen in HR departments, where having to let go of people who have been so good and loyal to the company isn’t so easy to do.
In some cases, this has to be done in order for the company to hire people that align with their goals and are compatible with the nature of work.
From a business owner’s perspective, it can be cruel but you have to separate what the business needs versus your own personal feelings.
Delayed decisions are the heaviest weight you can create for yourself. However, once you’ve committed to a decision, life became a lot lighter and you will be able to gain clarity on your next steps.
A quote by Jerzy Gregorek says, “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life”.
In life, we all have easy choices and hard choices to make. If you decide to take the easy route now, it often means you’ll have a harder life later.
If you decide to take the harder route now, it often means you’ll have an easier life later.
The choice is yours.
3. Compartmentalize.
Very often you need to compartmentalize in order to get things done – especially if you want to be successful at multiple things in life (family, work, hobbies, etc).
You can’t give 100% attention to everything all the time, so you need to find ways of splitting your focus – intentionally or otherwise.
Your business is not personal. Your business is a separate entity.
When I finally decided it was time to let people go, I found it hard to actually execute.
Your business has its own needs. It is a separate entity. And even if you personally don’t want to make a decision because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, at the end of the day, the business has its own requirements of what it needs to grow.
It has nothing to do with your personal feelings. Specifically, when having an uncomfortable conversation, it is better to say:
“This is what the business needs.” vs. “This is what I need.”
This helps you separate the business from yourself.
4. Action sets you apart.
The most successful people set themselves apart by action, not by words. They make promises and deliver on them, whereas others only talk about what they’re going to do without ever actually doing anything about it.
In James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, he mentions that every Olympian wants to win a gold medal and every candidate wants to get the job.
What differentiates the winners from the losers if successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals?
The action they take makes all the difference.
The difference is that successful people take massive action to ensure things go their way. Unsuccessful people get stuck in inaction, which holds them back from achieving their goals.
Unsuccessful people dream about their goals, but they don’t do anything about them.
Taking action means you’re doing something about your dreams instead of just thinking about them.
5. You’re not ready yet.
If you don’t have the business you want, it’s because you haven’t become the person to run it. You need to understand that there’s a certain level of growth that you simply weren’t ready for yet.
I always aspired to have a six-figure business before I reach 30 and felt entitled that it should happen sooner.
The truth is, being a business owner capable of running an 8-figure company has a completely different persona than a business owner running a 5, 6, or 7-figure business.
Be patient – because you probably don’t want a bigger business anyways if you cannot handle the problems you’re going through now.
Your time will arrive when you have demonstrated yourself to be ready.
Simply because something is new, doesn’t mean you aren’t competent in doing it. Don’t confuse inexperience with weakness.
When I’m confronted with hard things, I continually tell myself that I am capable of doing them.
I remember when I was new to creating content and starting my freelance business, I often felt a lot of imposter syndrome. Whenever I didn’t do something right, I’d feel like I wasn’t cut out for it at all.
Years later after getting the hang of things I once thought were difficult, I now learn that the largest setback most new entrepreneurs can make is thinking their inexperience is a weakness – when in reality learning new things just takes time.
Once you arrive at the next level of business, you are now doing a job you are untrained for.
Whenever you reach a new milestone in business and you think you’re done learning, your business will continue to test you.
From this, I discovered there is no end destination, and the day you decide to be an entrepreneur is the day you’ve dedicated yourself to life-long personal development.
Feeling stupid, if anything, is normal. You should feel stupid now and then because it means you’re growing rather than remaining complacent and comfortable.
6. Choice and Circumstance.
Happiness is a choice, not a circumstance.
Every day you should consciously be choosing joy because I can assure you that there is no object, goal, or person that will make you feel happy unless you decide to be.
There are many times in life when the choice to be happy may not come easy. When we lose someone we love, experience illness, or face difficult challenges, it may feel impossible to find happiness.
However, if we don’t consciously choose to be happy and start moving in that direction, we will only add more stress to our lives.
It’s important to take every opportunity possible to practice happiness and put your mind in a positive state.
When you’re in a positive state of mind and feeling good about yourself, everything else will fall into place and amazing things will happen all around you.
7. Concentrate on what you’re good at and be consistent!
Many people create great content but only a few create great content consistently. What makes you stand out isn’t a viral post. It’s the consistent value you deliver to your audience.
Remember: Creating content isn’t something you check off and it’s done.
It’s a skill that requires practice and patience. It requires you to focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
Even if you get good at the things you’re bad at, at most you’ll go from a D to a C.
However, if you are able to focus on speeding up the things you’re good at, then you’ll go from an A to an A+++.
It’s a far better use of your time to zone in on the things you’re already gifted at so you can become the best in the world at that one thing instead of focusing on your weaknesses and at best going from below average to average.
Focus on being outstanding and find a career that allows you to be that.
The Bottom Line
These lessons aren’t here to preach to you. They’re here to inspire you to be better.
Their purpose is not to educate or even change how you already do things but rather to improve how you approach the habits which make up your life.
Draw from these lessons and watch your life improve in a multitude of ways, starting from the inside and radiating out to the rest of the world.
Hopefully, this piece has given you some solid advice on how to be a better person.
Obviously, it’s not always easy—slowing down and thinking before you act is really hard—but if you focus on those points that resonate with you and your own personality, you’ll find success.
Everyone will have a different experience with this series of lessons.
In the end, though, I’m hopeful that I’ve provided some useful lessons that anyone can use to be a better person.
Writer on Demand PH 